In this world we have many difficult choices to make, but the greatest is whom we shall love. As Christians the person that we should fancy is suppose to resemble Christ in character and be virteous. However, our nature does not always draw us to the white knight or the holy virgin. No, many become ensnared by the black knight and unholy seductress. What is it about the dark and distrurbed that appeals to the flesh? Why does black draw our attention more than white and why does a serpentine vixen or severe pirate capture our interest? The clichés come to mind. For the man it is the unbridled nature, the desire to taste the forbidden fruit of desire and carnal love. For the woman it may be same, but often it comes with the belief that she can change the cold cheveliar into her knight in shining armor.
The allure of the wrong match, the poison apple, and dark romance is imbedded in our sinful nature. We yearn for the unnatural or rather the tainted because the taint is within us. To be more direct, our flesh longs for their flesh. Our iniquitous self wants to interconnect with another person's iniquitous self. It is an unholy soul ties that draws a Christian to a person of darker creeds. The lust of the eyes is satisfied with the shadows and so is the lust of the flesh with the temptress and tormented. However, in time the veil fails and the pollution begins to become poignant. The Spirit in a saint cannot endure the darkness for long. It either will be lost in the void created by the wrong match or burn so brightly that the dark one will want to flee.
The adage is that women are drawn to bad boys and men to the naughty girls. But this is folly. A love pure and undefiled cannot survive the black. While it is true we are all sinners, we are in process of being born again by the nature of Christ our Lord inside us. We have to retrain our minds and nature to desire the fruit of life, better yet the Fruit of Abundant Life. We should not listen to our flesh and sensual feelings, but rather to the Holy Spirit and our own spirit. We must ask the Lord to give us new eyes and to teach us to love what is good, not what is evil. Daily there is a need for the heart to be purged and cleansed by the Almighty. Does this mean there is to be no passion? Is a good match to be a man and woman without desire for each other? No, of course not! Rather it should be a purer and truer love. One that contains a connection of spirit, soul, and body. A love that perfects faith, not pollutes it.
Let me give an example. In the culture of the world casual sex and instant gratification are condoned and even endorsed. Most films depict intercourse as a means to reach ecstasy. Connecting is the not the purpose, it is pleasure that is the aim and goal. This is a fantasy. Sex was not created by God for selfish pleasure. It was meant to be for connection and to create new life. Here is where true ecstasy is lost. The focus of the world is on the physical delight of sex, but because it is so fast-food in nature and to get a quick satifaciton, it has lost the other component of europhia that is the connection of two souls. One of the few films I have seen that depicts this true sex is The Fault in Our Stars. The love scene shows that Hazel and Agustine are not into fantasy or getting intimate to have a feel good sensation. No, they spend their time seeing each other, with the shields down, and accepting each other in the most vunerable state. Something Adam and Eve experienced daily.
The bad boy and the voluptuous vixen are the part of sex that Hollywood is selling. It may seem appealing and exciting, but it is lacking. It does not have the complete nature of love. Hollywood is selling a fantasy. Sex is not people trying to forget their pain and feel great pleasure. Real sex is the pleasure packaged with really connecting. At the end the eutrophic feeling is not what is remembered, but the oneness, connection, and acceptance that was experienced.
As Christians we will only find the fullness of love with another person who is close to Christ and who will commit to connect. This is why marriage before sex is important. Commitment (marriage) creates safety, and safety allows for vulnerability and acceptance. The sleazy one night stand is a betrayal of love, it is essentially a selfish euphoric drug taken from another opening than the mouth. It robs both people of the closeness they can have in body, spirit, and soul.
Choosing the right partner for life requires Christ. If the person you are courting or dating is not connected to the Savior they shall cause you undo misery. The soul is easily spoiled and thus beware of someone who will seep sin into it. In the above image there is a knight, a Templar or crusader with a woman on each side. On the left is shield maiden clade in black and with twisted steel for armor and a sword. On the right is a dame clade in white with straight steel and armor. For a man, the woman in white is what we should be seeking. A bride who is spiritual warrior and who will help us stay on the straight and narrow. For the woman, you should want to be the woman in white and not the dark lady with cruel intentions. Until you are wed to your husband, you are to be like the virgins with their lamps lit.
I believe there is soul mate for everyone. That the Almighty creates two souls and puts in them a hole that can only be filled once they find each other. But to find your rightful soul mate, as a believer you must renounce the temptations and seek the truth. Search with Christ's eyes and your heart. Look not for the perfect person, for there is no perfect person, but seek a mate that will make the Messiah Jesus and the Maker of all things a priority.
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