Once upon a time a man could woo a woman through mutual attraction and protective instincts. While yes knights did joust to impress the ladies at court, the point is that was their profession already. Nowadays, this has all changed with PinInterest demanding “40 Guidelines to Make A Woman Happy,” and enough hoops to jump through to make any man want to thank God that marriage does not exist in heaven (Matthew 22:30).
I call this complex, The Mocking Complex, in that Mockingbird males have to learn 26 songs to potentially woo a female who is fickle and might go for another male’s song. This is the state of things in the dating game, as men must now prove themselves of being worthy of being loved by 26 or more potential criteria like “making her feel heard,” “if she is Avoidant personality, make sure she feels independent,” “praise her,” “listen to her and don’t try to fix it,” and etc and etc. I am not saying these are wrongful, but it doesn’t stop at ten, it is an endless list of hoops that man must try to figure out how to jump through just for her maybe to consider him. It is becoming increasingly understandable thne in the burn out from this being always on and ready to please, that men have opted for AI Wives, Anime Waifus, and other substiitues. You may decry through, Christian women arn’t like that! Oh contraire, they are worse, add to the 40 list or 26 songs you have to please her with the Spiritual ones of being a godly man who has all this fruit of the Spirit and Biblical knowledge, and who leads the household in prayer and so forth.
So what is the answer? If there is not ability to satiate the fairer sex’s criteria to be worthy of them, what can you do? I do not suggest becoming an Incel, and calling the lucky guys Chads, and those who will never woo with a song Simps, but I think we have to step back and ask, why is this happening? What happened to the basics and essentials being enough? Dating apps are like Rubix cubes and labyrinths of trying to putting just enough and not too much to catch someone’s fancy. And most of the time it does not work. Is it hopeless? No, there is still people who have realistic expectations, but a lot of people who will have you go through he gauntlet, the ringer, and mazes of mind games. I went through this recently, and it was 72hrs of fresh hell.. no matter how patient I was, sensitive I was, and accommodated her, she was content to reject me. So you could say this blog post has bitter tinge, sure, but honestly I do believe its a problem, we men are trapped in Mockingbird Complex, and we have only two choices: keeping singing and hope a mate sees us for who we are, or decide to stop our song and settle for fantasy. Honestly, I feel like our Lord Jesus looks at this state of affairs and shakes his head as the Hedgehog Dilemma, that is we who like hedgehogs try to get close but poke each other with our insecurities, traumas, self defense mechanisms, and sin.
I do not know if there is much hope, maybe like Gandalf says, “a fool’s hope.” (Return of the King, New Line Cinema). What I can say is that unless you possess good looks, and good deal of money, and maybe some moral character, you aint got much of chance but to doing Mocking Bird song and dance. Amen.
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