I am relatively sure I have written on the importance of community in the church, but I feel compelled to touch on it once more and from a more personal place. There is a Bible verse that says, "And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near." (Hebrews 10;25). There is no threat of excommunication or curse of losing salvation if we don't meet with other believers. But gathering with other Christians is important and the writers of Hebrews is trying to emphasize this.
When people are hurt, offended, and in deep pain the response is generally to recluse. Those who are suffering greatly decide to isolate and become more insular. How do I know this? From personal experience. I have been through a great trial and my response was to be alone in my fortress of solitude. I had a family member, but that was the extent of my contact with people. For a time this was helpful, the Lord drawing Me unto Himself and teaching me to trust Him and honor His will and opinion of me more than any person. But in time the solitude took its toll. On one hand I was isolated because I believe God wanted to teach me some things alone, but another side of it was fear. Fear of rejection and fear of people wounding me further.
Rich Mullins once said, "You really can't be a Christian and be alone, he Body of Christ is active and we need each other to sharpen one another, teach one another, and encourage one another." (1992 Interview with Shiela, Youtube). I think there is some wisdom in Mullin's words, through I believe you are Christian simply because you are follower of Jesus Christ. But Rich was emphasizing what the Book of Hebrews did; the need for community.
The problem is that in community we have common differences. There is going to be a time when you become offended, bewildered, and agitated by someone in the church. The prideful response is to usually say, "I dust my feet off and if they won't receive my correction, then I am leaving!" While it is true they should receive correction, if they don't take your advice, then there is nothing you can do. Even if you are getting directs words of prophecy from the Most High and they ignore it, you did your job. As Rev. Moyer says, "we are responsible for the message, sharing it, not the response."
The Body of Christ fragments so easily because we are all of diverse views, yet common in our pursuit of Christ's purposes and following Him. I don't fit into any of the Millennial groups, I agree and disagree with Premellenialism, Amellenialism, and PostMellenialism. Some would fight over this eschatological differences, but I think we should celebrate the differences when they aren't on matters of the Essentials (The Gospel, The Godhead: Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit, and the Gifts of the Holy Spirit).
We want people to be in our boxes, but we don't want to be put in box. This is the harm that can happen, and we really should say, "We agree on Jesus, the Godhead, the Gospel (Message), and Gifts, so its ok to disagree on if there is double second coming or single second coming." There is room for disagreements on non-essentials, and we should allot that to other people and even celebrate it! Its fun when everyone brings in their flags: the Catholics with the Crucifix, the Charismatics with the Dove (Holy Spirit), the Messianics with the Star of David, the Baptists with the Bible, and so on. We all believe in Jesus Christ as Lord, Savior, Messiah, and God.
There are times to part ways with people, especially when they hinder or hamper your call in Christ. There are wolves in sheep's clothing and deceived and domineering types who will cause you grief. The key is to have discernment and to leave with the Lord's blessing, not because of some personal offense that if truly examined may not have been intended by the person and could be worked out. Our Lord Jesus said, "If your brother sins against you, go and confront him while the two of you are alone. If he listens to you, you have won back your brother." (Matthew 18;15). We should do this, unless it is clear the person is not a brother (wolf) or that you shouldn't be in union with them and obstinate in their sin.
There is a time to be in solitude with the Savior. It can last one day or one year, it can be three hours or three years. But make sure that Lord is directing you to be insolated, not your own personal issues with people. We can do greater harm to ourselves if we out of self protection and anger decide to be loners. Again you must seek Christ and come to a consensus if you need to be alone or not. The answer will differ, but inevitably we are called to be with people at some point. Even Monks and Nuns have community of brothers and sisters at the Abbey, Nunnery, and Monastery.
I don't want to tell someone Christ is calling into a lonely season to be with people. Joyce Meyer who I greatly respect, though don't always agree with, said she spent three years with no friends. Such an experience draws one to Christ Jesus. That can be special time, when just you and Jesus commune. But there comes a time when the Lord says, "alright, its time to return into the world and witness." So use discernment, but please don't neglect the gathering of believers over an offense, hurt, or ill feelings. Satan uses such feelings to foster grudges and to keep God's people apart from one another. Don't do that, but instead forgive and remember, that while people may hurt you at church or do something you don't like; you too may be hurtful at times and not know it and could be doing something someone doesn't like. So show some grace and mercy, because its being extended to you, even though you don't know it.
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