Bitterness is branch in many people's souls. Its roots begin over an offense, a wrongdoing, and hurt caused by someone. Bitterness germinates as the person mediates on the offense and sin, and instead of forgiving they hold a grudge. The author of Hebrews urges us to not let bitterness take root, "Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many." (Hebrews 12:15). We see from this passage that bitterness can be passed on. As a person holds on to their hateful feelings and shares them, "Therefore I will not restrain my mouth; I will speak in the anguish of my spirit, I will complain in the bitterness of my soul." (Job 7:11). The Apostle Paul urges us to not share this poison, "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. " (Ephesians 4:31-32). Bitterness is the enemy of forgiveness, and it contradicts what Christ Jesus did for us sinners. When our Lord was being mistreated He said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." (Luke 23:34). This is often true of when someone offends or hurts us, "they do not know what they are doing." Often our bitterness can be eliminated if we would share the offense with the one who offended us, and we discover they never intend to do thus to us. In cases where someone does seek to harm and hurt you, Jesus had some very counter cultural [counter tradition as well] words, "You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye and tooth for tooth. But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If a soldier demands that you carry his gear for a mile, carry it two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." (Matthew 5:36-44). These words from the Word of God are meant to curb bitterness, malice, hate, revenge, envy, and desire to return harm for harm. Jesus knows the cycle of bitterness and revenge is unending, if everyone takes a tooth for a tooth, all will be without teeth, and an eye for eye will make everyone blind. To end this cycle, we must forgive.
Bitterness is a tool of Bezeelbub. Our enemy uses it to poison the soul so that we will cease doing two things, "Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." (Matthew 22:37-40). The devil works to cause division with people first. In the church, often people develop offenses and allow what the Apostle calls the gall of bitterness, "For I see that you are in the gall of bitterness and in the bondage of iniquity." (Acts 8:23). This bitterness works like a root, a serpent wither in the heart until it can turn not only the person against other brothers and sisters in Christ, but against Christ himself. The ultimate goal of bitterness is to make a person as offended with God as with men, because then breaking the bitterness is impossible; for it is only through Jesus Christ can we learn to forgive and be healed from our bitterness.
The Apostle James calls bitterness demonic, "But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. For jealousy (wisdom) and selfishness are not God's kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice." (James 3:14-16). In contrast to this behavior, the Apostle tells us, "But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere." (James 3:17). Bitterness does not yield, but seeks the death penalty for offenses. Interestingly, we see that envy is connected to bitterness as well as selfish ambition; because bitterness is selfish, it chooses not to love a brother despite his faults and focuses on how the person alone feels and refuses to let go of the offense. To be bitter is to be antichrist, for Jesus forgave us our sins, "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you," (Colossians 3:13) and "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32). We our obligated to forgive, not remain bitter! If we do not forgive, there is penalty! That penalty is unforgiveness for us, "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." (Matthew 6:14-15). If you ask for Christ to forgive you and yet will not forgive a brother, sister or even unbeliever you are a hypocrite! And you should read why Jesus thinks of hypocrites (Matthew 23, whole chapter). This is why the devil often leads a bitter person away from Lord in their bitter state, because they will not forgive the Father in Heaven does not forgive them and so they realize to remain bitter and unforgiving they must be at war with God.
Bitterness is a poison that makes a brother and sister in Christ a corrupter (Hebrews 12:15) rather than a good Christian. It is possible for a bitter person to reach the "point of no return" when they have hardened their heart in their self pity, victimization, and bitter envy. This is the dangerous destination that disciples must avoid, and why forgiveness is a chief virtue of the Church! I urge you dear brothers and sisters in Christ to not let your love grow cold (Matthew 24:12) or become bitter. For in these last days great evil will be before us, "But understand this: In the last days terrible times will come. For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that!" (2 Timothy 3:1-5). Notice in the list is "unforgiving" that is they will be bitter. We must not become like any of these, and so we must adopt what Christ Jesus told us, "You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye and tooth for tooth. But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If a soldier demands that you carry his gear for a mile, carry it two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." (Matthew 5:36-44). We must let go of bitterness, envy, jealousy, and hatred over how we are treated. We must be quick to forgive, "Be even tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you." (Colossians 3:13, MSG). We must model Jesus Christ to a world that will not forgive and that harbors bitter grudges. The Church must do as Christ said, forgiving and loving our enemies and persecutors, even praying for them. We do not win with revenge, but by refusing to become a clone and copy of the thing we hate and are hurt by; yes people who are bitter often become like the person they are bitter towards; they complain how the person was unkind and now they too are unkind; this is when poision is ripe. Refuse to be bitter, and chose to be brother in Christ doing thus, "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." (Colossians 3:13), and "And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful (synonym of bitterness and grudge)." (2 timothy 2:24), and, "Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs (offenses)." (Proverbs 19:11).
Forgiving and fighting against bitterness does not mean you live in delusional state of never addressing a problem or offense in a relationship. The Bible if full of passages about addressing someone who has sinned against us, "If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back," (Matthew 18:15), "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift," (Matthew 5:23-24), and in case of serius sin problem, "God will judge those on the outside; but as the Scriptures say, "You must remove the evil person from among you," (1 Corinthians 5:13), and "It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that even pagans do not tolerate: A man is sleeping with his father's wife. And you are proud! Shouldn't you rather have gone into mourning and have put out of your fellowship the man who has been doing this? For my part, even though I am not physically present, I am with you in spirit. As one who is present with you in this way, I have already passed judgment in the name of our Lord Jesus on the one who has been doing this. Then you must throw this man out and hand him over to Satan so that his sinful nature will be destroyed and he himself will be saved on the day the Lord returns." (1 Corinthians 5:1-3, 5). There are times to confront evil behavior and more; but this post was about hanging on to the offense and letting it continue to damage you. We are called to correct, but also forgive, not for their sakes but our own lest the bitterness become a stumbling block for our lives and even our faith. In fact, the steps of Scripture above about dealing with situations and people who have hurt us curbs bitterness because the offended person at least is being proactive about their pain and trying to reconcile, rather than being bitter and just complaining (Job 7:11). If correction fails, then you at least forgive and move on for your own spiritual, emotional, and even physical well being.
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