Choices

 As Christians we are told to take responsibility for when we hurt another person. In specific when we sin against someone, we are to seek out forgiveness and reconciliation. Some of us agonize over if the choices we made did lasting damage to someone, and we often think of them saying, “this is all your fault!” In fact I am reminded of Burton’s Batman, “you made me and I made you,” exchange between Batman and the Joker. However, this is actually not true. Jack who became the Joker was already a vile man, and the Joker persona merely gave him gravitas to rise as kingpin. Batman made a choice, he chose to promise his parents he would fight the evil of Gotham as the Dark Knight to avenge their deaths, his parents did not do demand this of their son. At some point we have to come to the point that people own their own choices. Yes you maybe influenced by hurt from other people, and emotion, and it valid to say they share blame, much like verse, “What sorrow awaits the world, because it tempts people to sin. Temptations are inevitable, but what sorrow awaits the person who does the tempting.” (Matthew 18:7). The tempter is liable, but in the end you have free will and can choose to respond maturely or immaturely; with the spirit or the flesh. 

Our world is very much a grievance one. Psychology has made blame shifting not only popular, but diagnosable; your environment, your family and conditions now is why someone has bipolar or other illnesses. None of this though gets at the root cause because when you keep blame shifting, you never get to the blame that is yours; you are ever looking for someone else to gratify your perspective. However, at the end of the day these words of Baldwin IV from Kingdom of Heaven come to mind, “A man may move a man, a father may claim a son, and though those who move you maybe kings or men of power, your soul is in your position alone, you cannot stand before God and say I was told by others to do thus or that virtue was inconvenient at the time. This will not suffice.” The words of the King are true, when you stand before Christ Jesus our Lord on Judgement Day, the blame game that started in Eden, and that Psychologists have fostered will not work. You will be held accountable for your actions, and those you chose to hurt. For you knew at some level what you were doing, even if emotion seemed to grip you; you could have inclined to Sophia, Holy Wisdom, and been silent as our Savior was, and let what was provoking you not goad you into acting out. 

There is a powerful scene in Star Wars Kenobi the Series on Disney+ when Darth Vader and Obi-Wan Kenobi, The former apprentice and master, the two once friends have an exchange, and Vader says to Kenobi, 

“You did not destroy Anakin Obi-Wan, I did.. just as I am going to destroy you!” 

In that moment the confession is made that Anakin destroyed himself, that he chose to become Darth Vader. Sure he was tempted by Palpatine to save his wife, but ultimately Anakin chose not to trust the Wisdom of the Jedi, and gave into the dark side. Notice that it is “give in,” you have to choose, just as Vader tells Luke in Return of the Jedi, “give yourself to the dark side..” it is a choice, no matter that Vader is tempting Luke and Emperor too, Luke ultimately has to choose, and that is a fact of this world. You maybe being tempted, goaded, and compelled by behavior to a course, but you make the choice if you are going to go down that course. 

The time has come for us to stop shirking responsibility. Blame shifting is not going to make your soul well, not even when Psychiatrists and Psychologists with PHDs say it is the fault of your parents, and etc. Sure they contributed, but you right now have the choice not to continue down the path abuse intended for you. Do you have the courage? Do you have the courage to take responsibility for your hand in your own mistakes? God will judge the tempters and those who hurt you, but you have the opportunity to take na accounting of yourself now and reform, so that you do not have to stand before the Lord one day and receive the same verdict as those who harmed you. Amen.