In the middle ages, the notion of marrying Christ came into practice. In this process nuns would marry Christ and put on wedding ring, and never marry a man. The idea came from the Scriptures, though in twisted vestige, that we are bride of Christ, "Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready." (Revelation 19:7), and, "The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend of the bridegroom stands by and listens for him, and is overjoyed to hear the bridegroom's voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete," (John 3:29). Being celibate, and never marrying or having sex became a sign of devotion to Christ in Medieval Period. However, the truth is that if you marry you do end up marrying Jesus, that is if you marry a devout Christian. So often you hear people wanting out of their mate the following, someone who is smart, funny (makes them laugh), and who is responsible and caring. They tend to leave out devout Christian, Jesus Freak, and Disciple of Christ. Here is what must be understood, when you seek your life mate, the soul mate Christ has placed for you on earth, you need to look for Christ in them. Every person who has confessed, believes in, follows, and knows Jesus has Him inside them, "to whom God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory," (Colossians 1:27), "Don't you realize that all of you together are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God lives in you?," (1 Corinthians 3:16), "But Christ is faithful as the Son over God's house. And we are His house, if we hold firmly to our confidence and the hope of which we boast," (Hebrews 3:6), "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own," (1 Corinthians 6:19) and, "I am praying not only for these disciples but also for all who will ever believe in me through their message. I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one—as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me." (John 17:20-22). When you are looking for the right person, you need to look for right person inside them, Jesus Christ. Too many devout Christians settled for lukewarm and even unbelievers, which is sad because there is likelihood that spouse won't go to heaven, "So, because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth" (Revelation 3:16), worse you will fail to have the deepest connection with each other in Christ. If you are dating why would you want to develop a relationship with someone that isn't going to be eternal, or with someone who doesn't believe as you do, and consider Christ the most important relationship?
It is crucial that we find Christ in the opposite sex. For by doing this we lay sure foundation of a lasting marriage. Not only will your faith be sustained, but you will be connecting with both the New Creation who is your spouse and Christ in them, and they will be connecting to you and Christ in you. This then makes the relationship everlasting, as both of you share the Trinity in your relationship, "I am praying not only for these disciples but also for all who will ever believe in me through their message. I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one—as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me." (John 17:20-22). Perhaps another message in Jesus' words about not rendering asunder a marriage has more to do with a marriage of two devout disciples, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." (Matthew 19:5-6). If two people are devoted to Christ then this will not happen, but should one of the spouses be lukewarm or unbeliever it is not the same. This makes your prayers and relationship with God stronger, for both of you are earnestly seeking Christ and He is manifesting through the one you love; making you yearn for them and Christ all the more. This is problem with unevenly yoked relationships, "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14). If you are yoked in marriage to someone who is lukewarm or unbelieving it will effect your faith, either by diminishing it, or by making you have to carry it completely alone, and having to deal with someone who is not disciple and who is indifferent to your zeal for Immanuel, "Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain." (1 Corinthians 15:58), and "Never lag in zeal and in earnest endeavor; be aglow and burning with the Spirit, serving the Lord." (Romans 12:11). Why would you commit to someone who would sap your zeal for the Lord? The answer is that many people are controlled by hormones, emotions, and attraction; but that's because the basis of their attraction is physical and emotional, not spiritual. We should be attracted to Christ in the person, and them as well, but instead for many it remains superficial. How many times must the Proverbs 31 Wife be mentioned, "Charm and grace is deceptive, and [superficial] beauty does not last; but a woman who fears [reverently worshiping, obeying, serving, and trusting Him with awe-filled respects] the LORD will be greatly praised." (Proverbs 31:30). This goes for men as well, most women want a spiritual man. Why do you think most pastors are married? Women are looking for Christ in men, even the unbelieving ones are drawn to spiritual men, but do not let yourself be yoked or snared into a relationship with an unbelieving person. For the goal should be to find someone you love and who loves Christ as zealously, passionately, and totally as you.
It is important to look for Christ in her or him. Look for a spouse who is full of Christ (Colossians 1:27). For by doing this you will actually not only have life partner to share in life's sorrows and joys, you will share Christ Jesus, and so be bound more closely in Christ's love through each other as walking Temple's of His Spirit, and the Spirit of Father and Holy Spirit. We shouldn't' be settling for people with charming personalities, humor, intelligence, and responsibility alone; rather we need someone whose more important relationship, and goal in life is to, "Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death." (Philippians 3:8-10). We should be looking for Jesus Freaks, not just church goers. The Monks and Nuns were wrong, you can actually draw closer to Christ by marrying someone who is a disciple and zealot for Jesus. But that does not happen if you choose someone lukewarm or unbelieving. So watch out, let your heart be so full of Christ that you see Christ in them and are able to fall in love beyond hormones and feelings alone. Amen.
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