Alzheimer’s Disease and Dementia is becoming rampant in the West as worldwide people have 150 Million people have Dementia. That number is estimated to triple by 2050. This means more and more Christian households are bound to be facing a loved one who has Alzheimer’s and Dementia. What is very difficult about the disease is that the person does not wither on the outside but on the inside; they look the same while they change inside in thinking, word, and deed. They who may have been a robust prayer warrior and even teacher of the Faith can no longer remember the basic doctrines. I have experienced with is family member who has Dementia, they even espousing heresies, when they had a hand in training me in Sola Scriptura. What are we do do when a pastor or a mighty person of faith or good Christian becomes demented? What do we do when a gentle soul who radiated the Holy Spirit now has a harsh Sun Downers where they damn you to hell and even physically assault you?; when the hands that use to lay on to heal now become hands that bruise. The answer is complicated.
For yourself you need to come to a place in your faith called maturity by the apostle, “I count all things lost but knowing Christ, I discard all things, counting them has rubbish, that I may gain Christ. Those mature in the faith accept this..” (Philippians 3:8, 15). You have to get to a place where even the loved one who might have taught you to pray, who lead you to the Sinner’s Prayer and into the Lamb’s Book of Life is counted as lost. I know that seems harsh, it seems not loving, but for your own sanity, your own spiritual health, you have to let go of them being part of your spiritual center and support, and afford that only for Christ. This is a necessary step.
The Second is that you have to hand them over to the Holy Trinity. If they are espousing heresies in their dementia and mania, they are doing so not in a sound mind. Thus they are not saying things with their full consent and desire, they are being spurred by the disease. This is crucial for you to accept that you do not need to keep going over the Nicene Creed or Apostle’s Creed with them. If they will do the creeds great, but you need to let go of being concerned about heir eternal state, God knows they are not in their right mind, He is merciful, and He is bigger than the disease.
Thirdly, you need to not blame God. It is in throes of this disease, that family members are inclined to say, “Why God? Why won’t you heal them?” While I am not against laying on hands to pray their dementia be healed (1 Corinthians 12:6-11); I believe God still heals. However, i do not believe like Kenneth Copeland and others that they are not healed because they “do not have enough faith.” A dementia person cannot muster faith, in fact, dementia is a clear pitfall and proof that the “name it and claim it” and “you just do not have enough faith is why you are not healed,” are lies. What you need to accept if they are not healed is that the reason this is happening is our ancestor’s, Adam and Eve’s expulsion from Paradise, that has put this planet in a state of futility and decay, “For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies” (Romans 8:19-23). In the Bible we see people live shy of one thousand years like Methuselah till it gets down to seventy years! That is because this world is cursed with entropy because of Original Sin, and while Jesus redeemed us from sin and hell, and cleansed our spirits, and promises us new bodies, the current body we have is still full of sin, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.” (Romans 7:15-20). Our world is in throes of dystopia, not utopia, utopia will not come till Jesus returns and new heaven and new earth are here.
Dealing with a relative is suffering with dementia is a challenge. I urge you to seek support groups, and brothers and sisters in the Faith. But I know the next concern, what if you get dementia one day? What if you are paragon of Christian orthodoxy, and even a great preacher and your mind decays before you are in the grave? Well honesty, I offer this comfort. Richard Wurmbrandt when he was in prison was so drugged by his captors that he no longer could say the Our Father Prayer, say Jesus’ Name, or anything. He said “in that state of having his mind gone by mind altering drugs that he had to let his heart be be enough to God, beating to God, and trusting God was there.” (Richard and Sabina Wurmbdrandt, 2007 Film) That is immensely helpful, that when it comes to mental barriers and illness, that you just have to let God carry you and He knows when you have full faculties that you chose faith in Him.
Being personally effected by Dementia as I interact with a family member, I can say there are days that are very stressful. When they exasperate my good will and I admit I feel tortured by their behavior, and mania. I found a helpful thing to do is to say the Jesus Prayer over and over, “Lord Jesus, have mercy,” (Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy upon me, a Sinner) That is the short version you can say, over and over between breaths, and it so much easier to chant or pray under your breath than remember the whole Our Father Prayer. I find if you say this over and over, it can calm you down and it is a genuine prayer, you are asking Jesus to have mercy, to help in the situation. I also recommend listening to Hymns (lyrics or just acoustical), some types of Gregorian Chant and Byzantine Chant (I recommend Passion Week ones that focus on Jesus). The goal is to help yourself decompress and not become overloaded with the stress of interacting with your Dementia relative.
I pray that this disease does find a cure, and its primary culprit is found. Through in truth, the brain and body are not meant to last forever, so we may have to face the fact that medicine can only go so far, and that aging is not something we can cheat with the Fountain of Youth. That is why it is crucial to store up our riches in heaven (Matthew 6:19-21) and to do what we can in the kingdom of God this side of life before we go to the heavenly realm where our Lord is. Amen.
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