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Holiday Blues

 


I admit that the “Most Wonderful Time of Year,” feels less wonderful with each year. Part of this is the corporate Christmas creep that doesn’t let Holloween happen before busting out the tinsel and trees. It use to be stores did not prepare for Xmas till after Thanksgiving, beginning with Black Friday sales, well I can testify my department store already has black friday sales… 


I feel like Cindy Lou Who, singing “Where are you Christmas? Why can't I find you

Why have you gone away

Where is the laughter

You used to bring me

Why can't I hear music play

My world is changing

I'm rearranging

Does that mean Christmas changes too

Where are you Christmas

Do you remember

The one you used to know

I'm not the same one

See what the time's done

Is that why you have let me go, oh.” (How The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, Ron Howard Film, 2000). The song does not end on that melancholic and depressing note, nor does the Grinch story, but I find myself stuck in those lines more and more each year, unable to get to Scrooge’s “Merry Christmas!” epiphany at the end of A Christmas Carol. I sometimes wonder if its just me.. but if the song of Cindy Lou was written, then somebody somewhere has felt as I do. 


I do not hate Christmas. As a Christian that is not even feasible. But I feel that the holiday and myself are not in line as we once were. Perhaps its age, as children Christmas is magical, like a genie mixed with candy and toys, and snowflakes and pretty lights! Then as you get older, the chill of the season is more bitterly felt, you watch as sales not The Savior are what matters. I am sure in some small towns Xmas has that old timey feel and they all gather to go wassailing and preform Parranda, knocking on doors and leading the neighborhood in carols to the Portican hall to have a grand potluck (buffet of food, each family brings a dish) and dance! If I was part of those traditions, I probably would have the Christmas Spirit. Instead I feel like a Polar Bear, standing in a grove of dead trees, holding icicle wondering if I am cursed to feel this way every Xmas! 


I do not want to bum anyone out for the Season. I just want to be honest that I have holiday blues, and please pray for me. My once close family is dispersed for the first Christmas ever, and I am sure that is part of it, that we all are far away living new separate lives. But I did feel this way last year and the year before, when this was not the case. 


If you feel joy about this season, ignore this post. But for those willing to mourn with me, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn,” (Romans 12:15), please comment in the comment section or pray for me, I may post & preach, but I am not beyond need. Amen. 

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