How do you let people treat you? Do you remain silent when abused? Do you feel that you deserve dirty looks and disdainful words? Do you fear to speak up and let others trample over you in crowds because you feel inferior? If so then pay attention. You deserve respect. My mother has said over and over to me and others that "you cannot love what you do not respect." Respect has become taboo in our society. People tend to be very independent and thus less considerate of others. However, the greatest danger is a lack of self-respect. If you believe you deserve to be mistreated, then you will be mistreated. If you believe you are insignificant and speak self deprecating words, than you will draw to you abusive people. Before you can receive respect from strangers, you must reach for it within yourself. Christ never wanted us to walk around with our heads bowed and our eyes looking at the ground. The Lord of Hosts wants us to walk tall and with pride. Yes I said pride. Not the haughty or arrogant pride, but the pride that you are a Children of the Most High! You command and deserve respect and if people will not give you it, then you "dust off your shoes" and go somewhere where they will respect you.
I have witnessed such disrespect in relationships, that I could claim a P.H.D in it. I myself had to walk away from a family that harbored disrespect at such levels that they believed I wasn't an individual and I had no thoughts of my own! Talk about abuse! Respect is connect to reverence, it means to be esteemed or valued for who you are. Respect like honor is often earned, but there is respect that every created human being deserves. Each person is made in image of God and thus deserves to be respected and treated with dignity.
I myself struggle with self-respect. When someone steps in front of me in a line or they say something unkind I tend to just remain quiet. This is actually the wrong course of action. I should speak up and tell the person who cut in "I was here first," and to an unkind person I should tell them plainly "I do not receive your disrespectful words." Knowing how to respond requires the help of the Holy Spirit and being bold. Sometimes it is better to defuse a disrespectful person or to completely ignore them. Let me give an example. Yesterday I attended a Renaissance Faire and I wore my nearly complete Templar Knight outfit. Two gents came to my side and saw that my gloves were Hockey Gloves and began to mock me. I in that moment pretended that I could not hear them and they ceased condemning me. On another occasion I was disrespected by some Pirates and I handled it by not getting mad, but making a witty remark that made them laugh and stop being disrespectful.
I am still to this day trying to mast self-respect. For nearly seven years I bowed my head and averted my eyes from the gaze of others. I felt inferior; that I did not deserve to hold my head high and look at people with the kind of pride that St. Paul says we should have; "boast in Christ." (Galatians 6:14). It is easy to let other people push us around and just remain silent, but it is not what our Savior wanted. When the Pharisees and Sadducees (religious leaders) accused and were condescending towards Jesus, He responded with stern words like: "You snakes and vipers, you make the sons of devil worse then yourself. You will lead the way into hell" (Matthew 23:33), "You are the sons of your Father, the Devil," (John 8:44-45) and "Woe to you, teachers of law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the door to the Kingdom of Heaven in people's faces. You yourselves will not enter, nor do you let those who are trying to (enter)" (Matthew 23:12-4). Christ called a spade a spade and he did not receive disrespect from anyone. If we are to be imitators of our Lord, we must be quick to keep our esteem high. Do not let people tare you down. More importantly, do not tare yourself down. Make it your goal to see yourself as Christ does, "a priceless gem, a radiant star, and the most wondrous of his creation."
Once you start showing yourself respect, you will then in turn receive respect from others or draw respectful people to you. Then in process you will also show respect to even those who do not deserve it. Once respect is resurrected, love will not only grow but thrive! Love and respect are intrinsic, they cannot exists without each other and that is why in our world today "love has waxed (gone) cold," (Matthew 24:12) and abuse in every form is on the rise. So take a tip from our Savior, and walk like Son or Daughter of the Most High God. Walk like Jesus is by your side and his loving eyes are upon you. Then when others mock, jest, or condescend at your expense, you will know how to keep your head high and respond in kind.
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