Sleep is the only remedy for my suffering. Only when I dream does the
gnashing and eating away of my body cease to drain me. In the halls of God's
Holy City
I sit in sheer agony. My bones are kindled like flames, my face peels like a
snake. Beneath the metal iron mask I see the vanguard of
Jerusalem. Valiant men at arms bicker over just
cause and fiscal loss. In the assembly, I feel the weight of the city; all
those lives in my decaying hands. Oh if God would provide me a permanent
regent, then I could recluse to my chamber and rest. Alas my fate is to reign.
My sisters greet me with kisses during the day, and at night they draw knives
seeking their prize. Oh Baldwin V, please stay alive! To you I wish to bequeath
this hefty burden. Oh do I long for the days of old, when I was strong and
capable of repelling Saladin's throng. Now I am reduced to a broken shell: one
that stumbles and must be carried to and fro. I can't even attend the Mass on
my knees, I must lay like a living corpse in the sanctuary.
"My heart melts like wax within me." My blood boils in a pot, as
my skin rots. How I long for death to take me from this realm of torment. I
grow weary of my duties, I cry for my ending. I am a demon to the Moslems, and
a ruin to Christians. My curse cannot be reversed, I am doomed to bare this
affliction until the day the Lord calls me home. Until then, I must sit upon
this throne. I must govern my people and endeavor to keep the peace. The
Kingdom of Heaven lives, but how long can it last?
Will Saladin be able to control his radicals? I confess that in him I see a
understanding man, one who might just help achieve lasting peace between
Christian and Moslem. However, those in his camp cry for blood, they demand vengeance
for our ancestors bloody capture of
Jerusalem.
Even if Saladin should wish to use diplomacy, he will be pushed to take action
and lay siege to God's City.
I pray I shan't live to see the day when Outremer falls to our enemy. I wish
to quote the legendary King Arthur, who said "For once there was a spark,
for one brief shining moment, known as Camelot." Oh
Jerusalem, I have given you my all. May God
honor my stewardship of thee, and I pray you shall see many more days of peace.
-Baldwin IV, King of Jerusalem, The Leper.
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